Long ago I met a man a little younger than I. He was my main influence for joining the Army. Which was one of the best career moves of my life. While we do not see each other often or even talk often I can say I think very highly of him. And there are few people I think highly of in this world.
He is going through something none of us could imagine nor wish on our enemy. He has as far as I know been an upstanding man in many ways throughout his life. What I know of him I have no reason to think otherwise. I wish him and his family all the very best in this hard time in life. Things will get much worse and I can not even imagine what the future holds for them. I am not at liberty to say who this person is by name but please, if you are a believer say a prayer for him and his family. If you are not a believer – then wish him well.
But this has made me think of some things again. Many times we know people who are scoundrels, immoral, thieves and people who you could really care less if you ever see them, talk to them or if they lived or died. I have known people like this in my lifetime. Mostly I wash my hands of, move forward and lose zero sleep over the few I do dispise. I do not normally wish anyone dead or harm to them. I do not judge their soul but I do know they are assholes, jerks, and not people I give a damn about.
There are many we hear of in the news reports who are the type of people who you could flip the switch on the electric chair, fire the gun in the firing squad or put the hangman noose around their neck. Some of those live long lives, never paying for their transgressions, their ruthlessness or their pure evil acts. There are those who eat right, exercise and do all the “right” things as they say and still die young due to some terrible disease. Then there are those who put shit in their bodies than most would never consider and keep on living their lives on the backs of other hard working Americans. The show my 600 lb life is a good example. I personally have a real hard time having sympathy for them because they have an excuse for everything and their family of friends are enabling them daily. I know some of you will also make some excuse for them doing what they do. Do not waste time to tell me of the many phobias, illnesses or new “disease” we have discovered to explain their actions. New ones show up every year.
So we all know life does not seem fair. So why do these people live out long lives while others do not? I have no idea. God knows why – if you believe in God. And yes I do believe in God, but I still question some times why.
Lately I find myself with these questions.
- Are we destined to be what we are or do we have a say so in it all?
- Is anyone or anything in control?
- Is God just sitting back an watching and allowing us to destroy ourselves?
- Why do good people die young and the meanest on earth continue to live on?
- What has the USA become and how much longer will we last?
- Why have so many turned to a bully, ungodly, non-constitutional person for POTUS?
- What do we do now?
And no I do not desire you to analyze or give me answers to these questions. So do not waste more time with that either.
Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear. Thomas Jefferson
So do any of you ever look up and ask him: What are you doing up there? Why is this happenings to good decent people while others who deserve fire & brimstone continue to live on? Are you going to just let us destroy ourselves? Is this your plan because if so it sucks? Are you listening at all?
I am not going to go on and on because most don’t care anyway. Sometimes just being able to vent, write, posts helps me. I told someone not long ago that when I pass I do not think anyone will visit my grave. Why do I feel that way. Because everybody has their lives and they will not be concerned with visiting my grave. And no this is not a pity party. This is reality and I accept that it will most likely be that way. Hell, I am not going to know if you visit or not or if you put flowers on my grave.
And as far as rough lives – we all have issues. My life was pretty good. But I too like many of you was molested as a child. Yes this is the first time I have publicly said that. And no it has not turned me into some monster, caused me to have mental issues or major problems in life. It happened for years, it ended, I went on with life and yes I remember it but that is the end of it. I am who I am. I do not look back on my life with a lot of regrets. I do know there are things I wish I would have done better or been better at, but for the most part my life experiences have made me what I am today. And what I am today I am OK with.
WHAT NOW? I guess nothing. We just live. We question with boldness, we wonder why, we try to be good people. To be honest – I have no idea what now.
So for the few that actually read this – thank you. No need to respond. Just me venting on; What now? Why? And questioning the very existence of God. Yes I do believe, but I also question him from time to time.